Happy birthday in heaven Izzy!

Today is her birthday. She would have been 13. It’s been 3 months since she left us. Our lives are forever changed without her in it.

I truly believed she would be here to celebrate. Thirteen is a big deal. In human years, that would make her 74. Doesn’t seem too old, does it? Yet, for a golden retriever, she would have outlived her life expectancy.

In the 1970s, golden retrievers average life span was between 16 and 17 years. These days, it’s 10 - 12 years. I can’t quite wrap my brain around that. This is the case for many if not all dog breeds. Seems like it should be the same or longer with all the advancements we’ve made in the medical field. Yet, due to breeding and environmental issues, we’ve managed to shave off how long we get to share our lives with them.

Saying goodbye to Izzy was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I couldn’t imagine life without her. Yet like all the pets I’ve had before in my life, I am. The first couple of weeks were the hardest. The pain I felt was not only emotional, but physical. My heart hurt, my stomach was in knots, it was hard to sleep.

But slowly, we stopped stepping around the spaces in the kitchen where she would lay. We stopped grabbing the peanut butter out of the fridge to give to her with her seizure medication every meal. I stopped expecting her to greet me at the door when I came home from work.

My days went from I can’t believe she’s gone to accepting I would never see her again. I still look at my photos and videos of her pretty much everyday. But the tears don’t fall as easily as they did. Little by little my sadness is turning into gratitude.

Gratitude for being the one she shared her life with. To have had 12 and 3/4 years with her. That in spite of battling cancer, not once, not twice, but three times she lived as long as she did. To be the one who was trusted to take care of her during her time here on earth.

Nothing or no one can ever take that away from me. So many memories we made together. So many things we went through together. So many adventures. It wasn’t enough. But truthfully, it would never be. We feel that way for everyone we have ever loved.

Part of being a human being is losing a loved one. Because no one is meant to live forever.

I always loved making a big deal out of celebrating Izzy’s birthday. Dog cakes, toys wrapped up in wrapping paper, party hats, photo shoots and more! Every milestone deserved to be celebrated. Because every year together was nothing short of a blessing.

Happy birthday my dear sweet Izzy! I hope where ever you are there’s lot of gift wrapped toys, puppy cake and treats. You are so loved and so very very missed.